Rest assured: I’m not on the market for such an outfit. It all has to do with Fashion Police, Giuliana Rancic, Givenchy and Selena Gomez….

Yesterday, I was watching Fashion Police – one of my many guilty pleasures, along with Judge Judy and The People’s Court.  Near the end of the show, the panel started discussing the Givenchy dress that Selena Gomez wore to this past Sunday’s American Music Awards. Not a personal favorite of mine, but I have admit that she did look flawless in it.

Photo by Jason Merritt

Giuliana Rancic, who loved the dress, made the argument that that dress is the one that you wear when you “want to make your ex regret everything about his life. (…) To regret everything. To be like ‘why did I do that? What did I do wrong?‘ “. Giuliana went on to saying that the back of her dress was so nice that Selena should have walked into the AMAs backwards.

Photo by Kevin Mazur

Photo by Jeff Kravitz

Photo by Jon Kopaloff

You have a valid point Giuliana, but only if you’re talking about Hollywood girls and the rest of their kind: singers, models, socialites. Us commoners don’t get to parade around in Givenchy when we wish to make our ex regret everything. Plus I have a feeling that if Habibi and I ever parted ways and he then saw me in a backless anything, with my back fat and muffin top exposed, he would most likely turn to his friends and say “See, that’s why I left her. The girl’s crazy.”

That’s why I leave the post-breakup backless dresses to Selena Gomez.